He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
