After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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