Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
