who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
