did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
