im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sarcasm needs its own font
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
