you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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