the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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