The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
