He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
