yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize