IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
