I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
