there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
