oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
