So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
