bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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