It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
