Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
