I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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