My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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