I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
