I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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