Your tits are I can't wait for
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
