dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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