At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
