can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
