i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
