Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
