Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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