I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
