You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize