she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
