I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
