I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
