I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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