The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
