Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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