Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
