My pussy is not your playground.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There r osticjed everywhere
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
