It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
