i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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