Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry nonlaxerbro hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

Fav 6 1066 1347
share tweet
(931): View more from Tennessee

don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding

Fav 10 6011 1386
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me

Fav 22 7049 1378
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

Fav 28 11495 1765
share tweet
(225): View more from Louisiana

True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us

Fav 4 3764 1548
share tweet
(864): View more from South Carolina

We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.

Fav 13 7148 1279
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

Fav 26 936 1997
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(909): View more from California

Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.

Fav 2 567 861
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?

Fav 1 51 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT