I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
