she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize