I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
