he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
sarcasm needs its own font
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
