Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
