Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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