Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
