You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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