Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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