How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
