after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
