i just had sex bonerless
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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