Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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