That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
