I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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