Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
