she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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