When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
