So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
